Parents and their children often have one problem or issues later in life. This is very common among Nigerian family. I got into discussion some days ago with two people as regards this topic. They both shared problems they have had in the past and still having with their parents. This problems or issues often occur when the child is almost graduating from an higher institution or just graduating from an higher institution.
Parents often start showing some signs of withdrawal from the life of the child especially financially. Personally, I want to say this attitude is probably displayed by low class or middle class earning parents. I don’t know if various parents normally hold meeting with themselves to start displaying this kind of actions and reactions towards their children or they just figure out that this is the best way to bring out the best out of their children. I am not even trying to scold or blame or abuse parents for this kind of attitudes, I am just trying to discuss the issues around this topic.
One of the person I engaged with on this topic gave an example. After he started noticing some of this attitudes from his parents, he decided to just live the house for them and go find a more comfortable place to live. According to him, it continued like this for like 1 year when the parents are now disturbing of where he is staying and begging to at least see his face. When I asked this same guy of the likelihood of him reacting towards his children in this manner, he said it depends on the condition. I thought he will not even think of reacting towards his children like this. So, what are we saying? This trend is not disappearing any time soon.
I guess this attitude is also noticed when parents force their children to read a certain course or else they withdraw their support from the child. We should all try to not just follow the bandwagon of how things are already been done. Be more observant, listening and create a free environment around children.
Personally, parents might mean well, but it is often taken too extreme that if care is not taken, the child can make some decision that might later hurt her or him and can also hurt the parents.
My discovery is this: It is of no use talking against an idea and yet you also display or support this idea later in future. It won’t change such idea.